Gru Theft Auto: San Juan

Your game starts at 07:02. The character model for Gru was excellent and his jump made us laugh every time. T-Posing Penguins were a fun choice for obstacles. lighting in the art building was too bright but that's an easy fix. Lil Beef requests that if the game has "Theft Auto" in the title, it needs to have drivable cars. We really hope you add more to this project as we would love to revisit it. 

My Video 

Read my review

1 Word - Beautiful

In depth - Never have I ever experienced a game so great in my life. in fact, opening the game I truly believed that this was the next triple A game brought to us by Rockstar games, no other than the infamous grand theft auto 6. however I was wrong, this is not Grand Theft Auto 6; it is something far superior; gru theft auto.  I have racked in easily 60 hours already since the release of the beautiful game by Pollo's corp.  let me tell you, when I say this game is worthy of GOTY, I mean it. My only complaint is that it does not have any pay to win aspects like all real modern games have. I need to spend $5,000 on a skin. I need that Gru skin that makes me look like spooderman. I need to feel the love and warmth of my bank account being drained for the sake of the pay to win. At this point you are probably wondering what I am talking about in my review; and to that I say, this is exactly why I do not eat at Auto Zone on a sunday afternoon at 3:24pm in the middle of September. Then again, the Doctor said to keep drinking milk. Milk.. what a good drink, if only I was not lactose. 

Listen, the point is this game is great and so are you. How long can my review be? Well, can it hold the entire Minecraft credits?

....

I see the player you mean.

Steve?

Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts.

That doesn't matter. It thinks we are part of the game.

I like this player. It played well. It did not give up.

It is reading our thoughts as though they were words on a screen.

That is how it chooses to imagine many things when it is deep in the dream of a game.

Words make a powerful interface. Very flexible. And less terrifying than staring at the reality behind the screen.

They used to hear voices. Before players could read. Back in the days when those who did not play called the player's witches, and warlocks. And players dreamed they flew through the air, on sticks powered by demons.

What did this player dream?

This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

Hah, the original interface. A million years old, and it still works. But what true structure did this player create, in the reality behind the screen?

It worked, with a million others, to sculpt a true world in a fold of the (7*R6-x%6%, and created a y#YAN:NV!C for [.K$HcazLM, in the PWh6UO({pG.

It cannot read that thought.

No. It has not yet achieved the highest level. That, it must achieve in the long dream of life, not the short dream of a game.

Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind?

Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

But there are times it is sad, in the long dream. It creates worlds that have no summer, and it shivers under a black sun, and it takes its sad creation for reality. Too strong for this dream.

To cure it of sorrow would destroy it. The sorrow is part of its own private task. We cannot interfere.

Sometimes when they are deep in dreams, I want to tell them, they are building true worlds in reality. Sometimes I want to tell them of their importance to the universe. Sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, I want to help them to speak the word they fear.

It reads our thoughts.

Sometimes I do not care. Sometimes I wish to tell them, this world you take for truth is merely <t0.4c?JMn and jR.%/u@d]{, I wish to tell them that they are h!{GcpWh%u in the W;+nJQ&R/*. They see so little of reality, in their long dream.

And yet they play the game.

But it would be so easy to tell them…

Too strong for this dream. To tell them how to live is to prevent them from living.

....

wait really? Are the credits actually that short? huh, life really is a lie and we are in a simulation. and yeah this game is actually kinda bad, but a good bad in a fun way. 

*dance emote*